Ima going to Apply.
Re: Ima going to Apply.
Note that I am going to, in all likelyhood, have quite restricted internet abilites all next week. If you finish it may take me a while to grade. I'm sure some other mod could help you if you grow impatient.
I've only ever asked God for one thing: "Lord, make my enemies ridiculous," and he granted my request.
My immediate advice is to go buy Brewsters. It is a dictionary, and a quite fine one. This you should use to bludgeon yourself comatose each and every night, in the faint hope that some of the knowledge contained in it might be transferred. If not, it would at least leave you damaged enough that you wouldn't be coming here and violate our senses with your retarded babble.
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Metallinauts
- Posts: 2595
- Joined: Sun Apr 25, 2004 3:29 am
- Prefix: The
- Name: Metallinautsi Federation
Re: Ima going to Apply.
If you finish and Kreshh can't grade it I will take care of it.
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Kewen
- The Mindset's Bitch
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:05 am
- Prefix: The Galactic Republic of
- Name: The Huntarian Alliance
Re: Ima going to Apply.
ooc: >.> <.< *lazyness* also. i have one word for me SPELL CHECKER. i honestly cannot be screwed right now to run it through word curse my lazyness so heres my notepad fresh test.
IC:
What was to be a routine patrol mission turned into a First contact, the crew was in a mighty joyus mood when they contacted the Alien ship which had appeared on the fringes of space.
Sadly it was not to last the Aliens customary greeting through the translator sound much like a death threat
the crew recived this message
"It will be our hoonour to send you into tthe ground"
when what the aliens meant was
"It would be our true and most heartfelt honour if we went to some land and partake in the ritual of mining" as one could guess, the cre did not react favouerable and the alien ship was anniallated, but sadly it managed to off a distress beacon in the last few seconds of its exsistance.
It was on that most unfortuante of days, the kewen on that ship had signed the death warrent for there whole race as the alien race who name to this day remains such a mystery took such a act as the most vilest crime ever, sincet there race devoted entiretly to the art of mining had not had a murder in over a thousand years!
Though the alien race was Advancce well beyond kewen technologies there ships were not built for combat and they did not know the ways of war, but that changed the battle was at the start evenly matched with the kewens centuries of battle experiance outdoing the aliens at every turn, kept only in check by various technologies that defied the laws of space! but it would not stay this way, the aliens learn from there faliures and the lines of battle began to move forward in favour of the aliens, gradually system after system world after world began to fall to the might of the aliens gigantic ships carrying mining lasers burned holes through to a planets crust, shattering them like dust as the millions of 100-300meter ships decended on the pecies for the thrill of the dig.
this was repeated time and time again, untill the kewen forced into a hold out of only a few systems left drew the line at Orchist, every ship surving was brought there to stall or inflict enough damage to force the aliens a ceasefire it was a hopeless gesture, nothing could stop such a attack. The aliens where eager to respond with a large portion of the their fleet being diverted to finally beat the kewen, and wipe them out of this galaxy.
"Sire, all ships are ready and at maximum possible operational status"
"good, preapre the fleet"
fleet wasnt what the kewens fleet should be called, it looked nothing like a fleet, thousands upon thousands of ships were grouped around the KSE Adventus the flagship of the kewen navy at 5.6km long, other crusiers and carriers dotteted the fleet along with destoryers and other military vessels but the greater part of the fleet 87% were civillian vessels with ships ranging from freighters,Civillian liners and gargantuan bulk haulers but for the most part lightly armed what the plan was.. well there was no plane the aliens didnt have large ships they prepered sleex 100meter vessels as such, the best tactic was to crush them with superiior size. literatlly.
on board a station pretty close to the sun
"Is it ready?"
"Almost, we need just a few more minutes displying timer on all ships"
across the fleet bridges and command consoles lit up with small timers displaying 2:00.
1:89
A collective cry of anguish went out from all the crews in the fleet as the alien fleet arived at 1568 vessels strong clustered around a single 2km Ship there flag ship which was single handedly responsible for the annialtion of over 45 worlds and the death of many trillions upon trillions of kewen.
1:79
The battle lines are drawn, Incredible amounts of fire are traded between the two fleets, whole transports and liners are disentergrated in the aliens fire, while the kewens return fire was less then impressive with not a single kill, the kewen ships rocketed towards the alien fleet and vice versam small sleek alien frigates darting around the lumbering kewen ships cutting them into segments, The answer to this was massive decompression on lots of decks the kewen ships spun around in split seconds as the frigates were slammed into the hulls of the ships
1:30
Half of the Kewen fleet lay in sad tatters with the core vessels only 1/4th of there numbers now resorting only yo there sheer size and power as they pivot widly as decks were decompressed atmohsere ejected without regard pushing the 2km+ ships at speeds of a fighter and making turns that would put a spinning top to shame.
"Sire, the last of the civillian vessels are gone..."
"NOO! we cant fall now! we have to keep fighting, we must hold on for a mintue more! the Brave hold on longer but the herioc hold on just a few more minutes! FIGHT ON MY BROTHERS DO NOT GIVE UP!" roared the admiral as again and again the flagship took high G's turns the weaker members of the crew dieing instantly under the high pressures
1:00
"Sire, we cant hol---" the crewmans last words were cut of f as his station exploded around him killing him
"Manual control now!" screamed the admiral realising his ship. the adventus was the last ship alive all the other ships of his once pround and mighty fleet lay dead in space, torn hulls littered the battlefeild occasionally expoled the aliens took heavy losses with ony 300 ships remaining. things were looking grim.
The Admiral's body turned intos its natural silver as he bonded with the hull forming a direct link, a irreversible one too. He felt each laser beam slash into the hull. no his body as he moved again and again the once mighty guns upon the ship hung useless as all power was needed to keep the engine running he grinned in pur insantiy as frigate after frigate was smashed upon his hull like a fly swatter to flys they went down beneth his bulk. He was alone. he tossed aside the rules of conduct and threw his 5km flagship around like a fighter Wrecks exploding all around him as he desperatly kept fighting determined to destoryer every ship possible, every now and then by his command the kewen wrecks would detonate into a ball of plasma as there reactors were overloaded englufing a nearby ship or setting off a chain reaction.
0:30
The two titans reamined the flagships, the only survivours of the battle sadly the alien one was almost fully intact and functionally while the kewens could barely function, the admiral coughed and hacked as he began to lose conciousness blood clotting his eyes. dimly aware this was not enough.. "You" *cough hack* "will die with me!" he managed to croak across the comms though nowone could hear him as his mind ;eft this plane he decompressed the last decks on the ship propelling it forward.
Ob board the alien flagship
"High MIner,The "Kewen" fleet lies in tatters we have won!"
"But at what cost, look so many of our stone brothers lie at rest in the void of space"
"but there menace is---"
"SILENCE enough, bring in the reserves and the home fleet we will kill this last insigifigant spec now"
0:10
The crew on the station watched in horror as there once proud fleet was destroyed wreck by wreck in front of them, the Adventus destroyered and now in peices raw hatred was in the hearts of the five man crew on the small station replaced by a sense of duty
"Its ready!" one of them shouted as the timer hit zero
"Wait"
"We must not falter"
"But why.. there is only one left?"
"look" said the last one as he pointed out in space the tell tale signs of the aliens were everywhere, untill it dawned on them the reason why no homeworld was found the reason why seeminly endless supplies of ships were sent against hem.. it hit them with the fource of a bomb there were nomads and this was there home!
The kewen, having lived long enough to know there was no god sent a silent pray to noone in particulare as the Device as activated.
For the last few months of this war two identical stations had been placed in orbit of the kewen home planet SZP1 and SZP2 , each had been storing enough solar energy to create a single insanely highpowered beam now they fired.
not on the Homeworldship, not on the fleet, no not even on the planet. But into the depths of the sun itself! layers were simply cut off the sun and for a brief second the sun dimmed followed by incredible brightness and heat as unconainted plasma lashed out like a whip from hell the sun rapidily expanding its firery talons wipe the system clean of life, and much of the alien fleet..
ooc: well... after much thought and three drafts this is my best attempt. if your clever you can guess where i got the idea from two primary sources. I gives cookies to who gets it
IC:
What was to be a routine patrol mission turned into a First contact, the crew was in a mighty joyus mood when they contacted the Alien ship which had appeared on the fringes of space.
Sadly it was not to last the Aliens customary greeting through the translator sound much like a death threat
the crew recived this message
"It will be our hoonour to send you into tthe ground"
when what the aliens meant was
"It would be our true and most heartfelt honour if we went to some land and partake in the ritual of mining" as one could guess, the cre did not react favouerable and the alien ship was anniallated, but sadly it managed to off a distress beacon in the last few seconds of its exsistance.
It was on that most unfortuante of days, the kewen on that ship had signed the death warrent for there whole race as the alien race who name to this day remains such a mystery took such a act as the most vilest crime ever, sincet there race devoted entiretly to the art of mining had not had a murder in over a thousand years!
Though the alien race was Advancce well beyond kewen technologies there ships were not built for combat and they did not know the ways of war, but that changed the battle was at the start evenly matched with the kewens centuries of battle experiance outdoing the aliens at every turn, kept only in check by various technologies that defied the laws of space! but it would not stay this way, the aliens learn from there faliures and the lines of battle began to move forward in favour of the aliens, gradually system after system world after world began to fall to the might of the aliens gigantic ships carrying mining lasers burned holes through to a planets crust, shattering them like dust as the millions of 100-300meter ships decended on the pecies for the thrill of the dig.
this was repeated time and time again, untill the kewen forced into a hold out of only a few systems left drew the line at Orchist, every ship surving was brought there to stall or inflict enough damage to force the aliens a ceasefire it was a hopeless gesture, nothing could stop such a attack. The aliens where eager to respond with a large portion of the their fleet being diverted to finally beat the kewen, and wipe them out of this galaxy.
"Sire, all ships are ready and at maximum possible operational status"
"good, preapre the fleet"
fleet wasnt what the kewens fleet should be called, it looked nothing like a fleet, thousands upon thousands of ships were grouped around the KSE Adventus the flagship of the kewen navy at 5.6km long, other crusiers and carriers dotteted the fleet along with destoryers and other military vessels but the greater part of the fleet 87% were civillian vessels with ships ranging from freighters,Civillian liners and gargantuan bulk haulers but for the most part lightly armed what the plan was.. well there was no plane the aliens didnt have large ships they prepered sleex 100meter vessels as such, the best tactic was to crush them with superiior size. literatlly.
on board a station pretty close to the sun
"Is it ready?"
"Almost, we need just a few more minutes displying timer on all ships"
across the fleet bridges and command consoles lit up with small timers displaying 2:00.
1:89
A collective cry of anguish went out from all the crews in the fleet as the alien fleet arived at 1568 vessels strong clustered around a single 2km Ship there flag ship which was single handedly responsible for the annialtion of over 45 worlds and the death of many trillions upon trillions of kewen.
1:79
The battle lines are drawn, Incredible amounts of fire are traded between the two fleets, whole transports and liners are disentergrated in the aliens fire, while the kewens return fire was less then impressive with not a single kill, the kewen ships rocketed towards the alien fleet and vice versam small sleek alien frigates darting around the lumbering kewen ships cutting them into segments, The answer to this was massive decompression on lots of decks the kewen ships spun around in split seconds as the frigates were slammed into the hulls of the ships
1:30
Half of the Kewen fleet lay in sad tatters with the core vessels only 1/4th of there numbers now resorting only yo there sheer size and power as they pivot widly as decks were decompressed atmohsere ejected without regard pushing the 2km+ ships at speeds of a fighter and making turns that would put a spinning top to shame.
"Sire, the last of the civillian vessels are gone..."
"NOO! we cant fall now! we have to keep fighting, we must hold on for a mintue more! the Brave hold on longer but the herioc hold on just a few more minutes! FIGHT ON MY BROTHERS DO NOT GIVE UP!" roared the admiral as again and again the flagship took high G's turns the weaker members of the crew dieing instantly under the high pressures
1:00
"Sire, we cant hol---" the crewmans last words were cut of f as his station exploded around him killing him
"Manual control now!" screamed the admiral realising his ship. the adventus was the last ship alive all the other ships of his once pround and mighty fleet lay dead in space, torn hulls littered the battlefeild occasionally expoled the aliens took heavy losses with ony 300 ships remaining. things were looking grim.
The Admiral's body turned intos its natural silver as he bonded with the hull forming a direct link, a irreversible one too. He felt each laser beam slash into the hull. no his body as he moved again and again the once mighty guns upon the ship hung useless as all power was needed to keep the engine running he grinned in pur insantiy as frigate after frigate was smashed upon his hull like a fly swatter to flys they went down beneth his bulk. He was alone. he tossed aside the rules of conduct and threw his 5km flagship around like a fighter Wrecks exploding all around him as he desperatly kept fighting determined to destoryer every ship possible, every now and then by his command the kewen wrecks would detonate into a ball of plasma as there reactors were overloaded englufing a nearby ship or setting off a chain reaction.
0:30
The two titans reamined the flagships, the only survivours of the battle sadly the alien one was almost fully intact and functionally while the kewens could barely function, the admiral coughed and hacked as he began to lose conciousness blood clotting his eyes. dimly aware this was not enough.. "You" *cough hack* "will die with me!" he managed to croak across the comms though nowone could hear him as his mind ;eft this plane he decompressed the last decks on the ship propelling it forward.
Ob board the alien flagship
"High MIner,The "Kewen" fleet lies in tatters we have won!"
"But at what cost, look so many of our stone brothers lie at rest in the void of space"
"but there menace is---"
"SILENCE enough, bring in the reserves and the home fleet we will kill this last insigifigant spec now"
0:10
The crew on the station watched in horror as there once proud fleet was destroyed wreck by wreck in front of them, the Adventus destroyered and now in peices raw hatred was in the hearts of the five man crew on the small station replaced by a sense of duty
"Its ready!" one of them shouted as the timer hit zero
"Wait"
"We must not falter"
"But why.. there is only one left?"
"look" said the last one as he pointed out in space the tell tale signs of the aliens were everywhere, untill it dawned on them the reason why no homeworld was found the reason why seeminly endless supplies of ships were sent against hem.. it hit them with the fource of a bomb there were nomads and this was there home!
The kewen, having lived long enough to know there was no god sent a silent pray to noone in particulare as the Device as activated.
For the last few months of this war two identical stations had been placed in orbit of the kewen home planet SZP1 and SZP2 , each had been storing enough solar energy to create a single insanely highpowered beam now they fired.
not on the Homeworldship, not on the fleet, no not even on the planet. But into the depths of the sun itself! layers were simply cut off the sun and for a brief second the sun dimmed followed by incredible brightness and heat as unconainted plasma lashed out like a whip from hell the sun rapidily expanding its firery talons wipe the system clean of life, and much of the alien fleet..
ooc: well... after much thought and three drafts this is my best attempt. if your clever you can guess where i got the idea from two primary sources. I gives cookies to who gets it
Re: Ima going to Apply.
Kewen, I don't mean to be rude or insulting, but at this point you have virtually no chance of passing. It is my understanding that English is not your first language, and if so I sympathize with your situation and would be inclined to make a slight exception to our otherwise higher standards. However, simply put, at your current level this is not possible. Your style is too unclear, and your effort too minimal. If you want a specific grade I can come up with one, but as it would fall well below the required level for passing I see no point.
Better luck next time.
Better luck next time.
I've only ever asked God for one thing: "Lord, make my enemies ridiculous," and he granted my request.
My immediate advice is to go buy Brewsters. It is a dictionary, and a quite fine one. This you should use to bludgeon yourself comatose each and every night, in the faint hope that some of the knowledge contained in it might be transferred. If not, it would at least leave you damaged enough that you wouldn't be coming here and violate our senses with your retarded babble.
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Kewen
- The Mindset's Bitch
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:05 am
- Prefix: The Galactic Republic of
- Name: The Huntarian Alliance
Re: Ima going to Apply.
Heh, sigh i wasnt really expecting to pass i rad other applications who had better posts and got rejected... so when can i try again? asap i want to try again
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The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
Re: Ima going to Apply.
You can try again whenever you want.
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Kewen
- The Mindset's Bitch
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:05 am
- Prefix: The Galactic Republic of
- Name: The Huntarian Alliance
Re: Ima going to Apply.
yey! in that case ill try in a week when all my exams are done >.><.<-
The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
Re: Ima going to Apply.
Take your time and double check for spelling and grammar errors.
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Kewen
- The Mindset's Bitch
- Posts: 25
- Joined: Thu Aug 07, 2008 10:05 am
- Prefix: The Galactic Republic of
- Name: The Huntarian Alliance
Re: Ima going to Apply.
In that case can i just re apply now, get scenario one and work on it for the nest.. oh.. week
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Trailers
- Take Off Every Zig For Great Justice!
- Posts: 2038
- Joined: Thu Sep 29, 2005 9:27 pm
- Prefix: The Glorious Hellenic Empire
- Name: Trailers
Re: Ima going to Apply.
It really is worth the effort to give it a run through Word.
Traileric Empire
Guide our souls to the Elysium Fields
Bear us home upon our shields
Lay coins across our brows and sound the bells
We're paying our fare on the river to Hell
And when our sons and mothers lay us upon the funeral pyre
Tell them we died Hellenic soldiers with our faces to the fire
Guide our souls to the Elysium Fields
Bear us home upon our shields
Lay coins across our brows and sound the bells
We're paying our fare on the river to Hell
And when our sons and mothers lay us upon the funeral pyre
Tell them we died Hellenic soldiers with our faces to the fire