Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Applications to the ESUS will be processed here.
-Bretonia-
The Mindset's Bitch
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Aug 31, 2009 11:04 pm
Prefix: The Constitutional Monarchy of
Name: Bretonia

Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by -Bretonia- »

There was something of a brawl in the House of Commons as the debates surrounding Bretonian neutrality reached their pinnacle. Finally, when the filibustering was seemingly over, and the Speaker managed to calm down the hundreds of politicians who all had vehement opinions on the subject, a vote was called to determine whether or not to petition for entry into the ESUS Alliance.

It was a close call in the end, with 567 yays to 483 nays. The present administration, the Protective Party headed by Prime Minister Jacobi, had needed to form a coalition with several smaller, independent parties to secure a certain victory. Even then there was a small revolt in the party ranks as numerous members of Jacobi's faithful turned against him on the issue.

But victory was achieved, nonetheless, and only one thing remained - newly-appointed Foreign Affairs Minister Ken Gables did the honours, and dispatched Bretonia's official application to the alliance.

***

Bretonia is a constitutional monarchy directly governing some eleven star systems, with the population of almost ten-and-a-half billion spread across eight of them. With the bicameral parliament at its head, Bretonia has a long history of high civil, economic and political rights, favouring many aspects of classical liberalism in its style of governance. Economic interests are high on their list of priorities as a result, though virtually uncontrolled industrial development over the centuries has irreparably damaged the environments of two heavily populated planets, and social welfare programs are minimal where they exist at all.

In terms of foreign affairs Bretonia has traditionally preferred only to involve itself in issues that might directly affect their own interests (which almost always tend to be of a financial nature), and generally do so with diplomats and comm systems rather than warships and guns. This enduring sense of neutrality presumably stems from the isolation Bretonia endured for much of its existence, thanks to its unfortunate location within the Great Barrier. Such disinterest in galactic affairs should not be misconstrued as a form of pacifism though, for the well-funded Bretonian Royal Armed Forces are maintained to a high standard of quality and training, in the event that words fail to find purchase with potential adversaries.

Rather than burden the unfortunate soul reading their application with excessive information, however, Minister Gables simply attached pertinent links to databases such as the Bretonian Ministry of Information, and the Bretonian Newsnets, so that they might pick and choose whatever information they wished to know.

***

OOC bit:

After years of meandering about aimlessly I've finally decided to take the plunge and join some other people to meander about aimlessly with. ESUS is the best fit for Bretonia out of them all, and probably the best... well, period.

I only have a handful of questions really:
  • Why does all the text grow to a ridiculously sized font when I'm logged in, but not when I'm logged out?
  • Is there a time limit in effect when it comes to completing the tests?
  • Is there any particularly smelly ESUS member that I should try to avoid?
  • Chicken, or egg?
Kostemetsia
ESUS Spambot
Posts: 595
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:48 am
Prefix: The Commonwealth of
Name: Kostemetsia

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Kostemetsia »

Hey Bret, I can answer your questions. A tester should be along shortly.

1: I have that problem sometimes. If you're on a work connection when accessing ESUS, try it at home. If that doesn't work: if you're using IE, try switching to Firefox, which I understand Mindset designs for.

2: No time limit is in effect. Quality RP can't be written on a deadline.

3: Not that I know of - although I'm tempted, I am TEMPTED, to nominate everyone who has a purple dinosaur avatar. Oh wait, that isn't in effect.

4: Egg (mutant, laid by chicken-like organism).
[center]Image
God hasn't played dice with the universe since that fateful drunken night when he lost classical mechanics to the devil at craps.[/center]
User avatar
Derscon
ESUS Spambot
Posts: 505
Joined: Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:21 am
Prefix: The Amaranthine Imperium of
Name: Derscon

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Derscon »

4. Evolution dictates that the egg would have had to come first, but if you mean first chicken egg (i.e. egg laid by a chicken), then the chicken came first.

3. Yes. :P

2. I took literally a RL year to complete mine. You're fine. ;)

1. God hates you.

Good luck on your test!
We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France. ~ Sir Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington
"Everywhere you prod it, even with the shortest stick, the established system isn't simply corrupt, it's unequivocally putrescent. The law is created by demonstrable criminals, enforced by demonstrable criminals, interpreted by demonstrable criminals, all for demonstrably criminal purposes. Of course I'm above the law. And so are you." (L. Neil Smith) "
La perfection est atteinte non quand il ne reste rien à ajouter, mais quand il ne reste rien à enlever.
Image
Image
User avatar
Neo-Mekanta
ESUS Cummycow
Posts: 469
Joined: Mon Sep 05, 2005 4:27 pm
Prefix: The Galactic Hegemony of
Name: Neo-Mekanta

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Neo-Mekanta »

Derscon wrote:-snip-
Reverse numbering is punishable by tentacle raping and death! Possibly tentacle raping to death... I'll wing it.

-Bretonia- wrote: I only have a handful of questions really:
  • Why does all the text grow to a ridiculously sized font when I'm logged in, but not when I'm logged out?
  • Is there a time limit in effect when it comes to completing the tests?
  • Is there any particularly smelly ESUS member that I should try to avoid?
  • Chicken, or egg?
  • I blame Google.
  • Yes, you have two hours from announcement that you'd wish to join. Given that two hours have passed, I'm afraid you don't get your complimentary gift basket if you pass. You'll have to settle for tentacle rape like everyone else. But otherwise, no.
  • I don't know about smelly, but that Mekanta asshole's tentacles? Stay away from them for your own good. That guy's twisted. Oh wait, I'M that Mekanta asshole. ... C'mere. I have candy. Don't you want candy?
  • Velociraptor
Not sure if I'm still qualified to give you an admissions test. It's been years since I was AAD, but if the higher ups consent I can crush your ho- I mean, give you your test. ^_^
Image

... I'm going to rape you all so hard your various orifaces will be an unending river of blood, and when I'm finally done with everything from your eye sockets to your arsehole, I'm going cut new holes to use...
-Classic Quote
Kostemetsia
ESUS Spambot
Posts: 595
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:48 am
Prefix: The Commonwealth of
Name: Kostemetsia

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Kostemetsia »

Bret! Look really cute, as quickly as you can! It'll stop him raping you.

8)
[center]Image
God hasn't played dice with the universe since that fateful drunken night when he lost classical mechanics to the devil at craps.[/center]
User avatar
Telros
ESUS Danza Slap
Posts: 749
Joined: Tue Apr 24, 2007 10:50 am
Prefix: The Dominion of
Name: Telros

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Telros »

No...no...that has the opposite effect of what you advertised.
Pyramid Facehugger would be fucking brutal. I don't know if I'll ever get to sleep with the thought of that genocidal rape behemoth rampaging through the large-eyed schoolgirls swimming in a sea of biceps that populate my subconscious.


Oh you're starving? WELL FUCK YOU THEN, HADUKEN!
-- Proof that the Old Testament God was a dick.
User avatar
The Mindset
Posts: 3079
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
Name: The Mindset

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by The Mindset »

There's a bug in the CSS of the forums that makes text appear huge on IE. I've not yet figured out what causes it (and I'm not really fussed about it either). My only real suggestion is switching to Firefox or Chrome, sorry.
User avatar
Derscon
ESUS Spambot
Posts: 505
Joined: Tue Jul 11, 2006 2:21 am
Prefix: The Amaranthine Imperium of
Name: Derscon

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Derscon »

The Mindset wrote:There's a bug in the CSS of the forums that makes text appear huge on IE. I've not yet figured out what causes it (and I'm not really fussed about it either). My only real suggestion is switching to Firefox or Chrome, sorry.
WHICH IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE USING ANYWAY.

Also, inb4 AZ and Opera
We always have been, we are, and I hope that we always shall be detested in France. ~ Sir Arthur Wellesley, Duke of Wellington
"Everywhere you prod it, even with the shortest stick, the established system isn't simply corrupt, it's unequivocally putrescent. The law is created by demonstrable criminals, enforced by demonstrable criminals, interpreted by demonstrable criminals, all for demonstrably criminal purposes. Of course I'm above the law. And so are you." (L. Neil Smith) "
La perfection est atteinte non quand il ne reste rien à ajouter, mais quand il ne reste rien à enlever.
Image
Image
User avatar
The Mindset
Posts: 3079
Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
Name: The Mindset

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by The Mindset »

Derscon wrote:
The Mindset wrote:There's a bug in the CSS of the forums that makes text appear huge on IE. I've not yet figured out what causes it (and I'm not really fussed about it either). My only real suggestion is switching to Firefox or Chrome, sorry.
WHICH IS WHAT YOU SHOULD BE USING ANYWAY.

Also, inb4 AZ and Opera
He's slowly converting because Opera doesn't support some of the javascript on the map. Ho ho ho ho.
Kostemetsia
ESUS Spambot
Posts: 595
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 12:48 am
Prefix: The Commonwealth of
Name: Kostemetsia

Re: Bretonian petition to enter ESUS

Post by Kostemetsia »

Telros wrote:No...no...that has the opposite effect of what you advertised.
What are you talking about? :x
[center]Image
God hasn't played dice with the universe since that fateful drunken night when he lost classical mechanics to the devil at craps.[/center]
Post Reply