Joining
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The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
First Test: Your nation is succumbing to systematic shutdowns in industry and the private sector due to wildcard blue and while collar union strikes. Demanding better wages and benefits, you must RP your leader (or the union boss) attempting to work out a solution to the problem. The Opposition is disgruntled about conditions that have existed for years and will not move an inch on the common issues of benefits and salaries. You cannot legislate them back to work, nor force them to, you must attempt to work out the problems diplomatically.
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The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
Scenario two: These scenarios are not canon - i.e., they aren't actually taking place in your real nation. So, with this in mind:
The apocalyse has happened. Jesus has returned, and is battling Satan all across the universe. Everything has been reduced to chaos, and your nation is in ruins. You're going to lose. Your forces are currently retreating from outlying territories to your homeworld. All your systems, bar one (the homeworld), have been lost, and your decimated forces cannot reclaim them. Your allies have similarly been affected - there is no hope of reinforcements. You have very little military resources left. You must roleplay the final hours of your empire, and it's defeat and subsequent extinction at the hands of the forces of darkness.
To reiterate: you cannot "win" this scenario. You must lose, otherwise you will not be fulfiling the requirements of the scenario and will instantly fail. Bonus points for creativity, strong character development, and a sense of "dying with honour."
The apocalyse has happened. Jesus has returned, and is battling Satan all across the universe. Everything has been reduced to chaos, and your nation is in ruins. You're going to lose. Your forces are currently retreating from outlying territories to your homeworld. All your systems, bar one (the homeworld), have been lost, and your decimated forces cannot reclaim them. Your allies have similarly been affected - there is no hope of reinforcements. You have very little military resources left. You must roleplay the final hours of your empire, and it's defeat and subsequent extinction at the hands of the forces of darkness.
To reiterate: you cannot "win" this scenario. You must lose, otherwise you will not be fulfiling the requirements of the scenario and will instantly fail. Bonus points for creativity, strong character development, and a sense of "dying with honour."
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The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
Scenario three: An elite squad of your best infantry troopers has been caged by superior forces in a run down building in a desolate urban warground. The enemy infantry, however, have had their supply lines cut. Their numbers may be greater than yours, but they're just as low on resources as you are. You must roleplay the success of your team against overwhemling odds. However, note that using a deus ex machina will result in you being heavily penalised. You should come up with a clever tactic that gets you out of the sticky situation.
Bonuses for: strong character development.
Bonuses for: strong character development.
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The Mindset
- Posts: 3079
- Joined: Sat Apr 24, 2004 10:35 pm
- Prefix: Den interstellera republik av
- Name: The Mindset
Scenario one breakdown:
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 76% (-24)
-- After my discretion: 70% (-6)
-- Final mark is 70%
--- Your grammar and spelling let you down a bit, but my biggest beef was that it was a tad boring to read. There was plenty of dialogue being thrown about but it felt forced and unrealistic - I had hoped for a more tangible atmosphere of tension between the two opposite factions. There was also the problem of redundant description being used. For example, "Robert sighed a little his mouth opening to let breath through, the gasp of air flowing out in a warm stream." Describing what a sigh is to the reader only serves to patronise them, and adds nothing but filler to the plot.
Scenario two breakdown:
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 81% (-19)
-- After my discretion: 82% (+1)
-- Final mark is 82%
--- Once again, your grammar and spelling let you down a tad, though I know you have problems with that so I've tried to take that into account. Regardless, this was a good read. The demon attack scenes were quite creative and I was able to imagine them fairly well. However, I did ask for strong character development, and I didn't really get that. I'd have liked some more coherent dialogue than insane laughter. Regardless, this was good. I enjoyed it.
Scenario three breakdown:
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 80% (-20)
-- After my discretion: 85% (+5)
-- Final mark is 85%
--- I can tell that this one was rushed. I did like some parts of it, especially the ripping wires out of walls to MacGyver a bomb, but saying that "they eventually completed their mussion and returned home with no casualties" in the final line of the post was a complete and utter cop out. Regardless, there was some good characters in there, hence the addition of some points in your favour.
Average score: 79%. Since the ESUS requires a score of 85% or above for entrance, I'm afraid you've failed this time, TFU. I'm sorry. It was your first scenario that let you down - the last two were quite entertaining. Perhaps you can take these suggestions away and consider reapplying at some point in the future. For now, you can't be a member.
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 76% (-24)
-- After my discretion: 70% (-6)
-- Final mark is 70%
--- Your grammar and spelling let you down a bit, but my biggest beef was that it was a tad boring to read. There was plenty of dialogue being thrown about but it felt forced and unrealistic - I had hoped for a more tangible atmosphere of tension between the two opposite factions. There was also the problem of redundant description being used. For example, "Robert sighed a little his mouth opening to let breath through, the gasp of air flowing out in a warm stream." Describing what a sigh is to the reader only serves to patronise them, and adds nothing but filler to the plot.
Scenario two breakdown:
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 81% (-19)
-- After my discretion: 82% (+1)
-- Final mark is 82%
--- Once again, your grammar and spelling let you down a tad, though I know you have problems with that so I've tried to take that into account. Regardless, this was a good read. The demon attack scenes were quite creative and I was able to imagine them fairly well. However, I did ask for strong character development, and I didn't really get that. I'd have liked some more coherent dialogue than insane laughter. Regardless, this was good. I enjoyed it.
Scenario three breakdown:
-- Initial score: 100%
-- After marking: 80% (-20)
-- After my discretion: 85% (+5)
-- Final mark is 85%
--- I can tell that this one was rushed. I did like some parts of it, especially the ripping wires out of walls to MacGyver a bomb, but saying that "they eventually completed their mussion and returned home with no casualties" in the final line of the post was a complete and utter cop out. Regardless, there was some good characters in there, hence the addition of some points in your favour.
Average score: 79%. Since the ESUS requires a score of 85% or above for entrance, I'm afraid you've failed this time, TFU. I'm sorry. It was your first scenario that let you down - the last two were quite entertaining. Perhaps you can take these suggestions away and consider reapplying at some point in the future. For now, you can't be a member.