In the grimdark future of the ESUS...

[Trailers]

Normal legionnaire would have nuked it from 30 miles away then chainsawed what was left of it.

[Kanuckistan]

All this fancy technology and artistic approaches to warmaking is inconsequential when all you want to do is KILLMAIMBURN.

Fancy technology is the difference between going into battle with a wooden club and animal hides, or death-ray eye-beams and powered armour.

[Zerstorendar]

A wooden club and animal hides?

SIGN ME THE HELL UP, PRIMAL RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

And functional technology and fancy technology is the difference between chopping someone into little pieces and surgically removing their eyeballs.

[Skeelzania]

All these super-teched Space Marines. . . Makes me glad I don't engage in ground offensives very often.

The Skeelzanian Army is very old-style and defensively minded. Its divided into three broad categories: the Infantry, the Panzer, and the Artillery.

Your average rifleman is between the ages of 18 and 25, reasonably fit (which is a grade or two above your "normal" human), and is a conscript, serving their three years and generally wanting to survive. They're well trained in marksmanship, CQC and entrenchment. Additionally resourcefulness is encouraged, to assist them in their job and also to reduce micromanagement. They're still beholden to the NCOs, who are the backbone of the Skeelzanian army. These are professional soldiers who stayed on (and lacked the personal connections to get into the Furstentumschutze) and most have seen years of combat against the Orks. The officer corps is of similar quality, though they lack the hard edge of the sergeants; the officers direct the battle, the Sergeants win it.

Standard equipment is a Skeelzanian Assault Rifle (SAR), grenades, flak jacket, helmet, gas mask, and entrenching tool. The entrenching tool is a heavy thing, just as good (and perhaps better) at tacking an opponents face off as digging a hole. NCOs and officers' tools are issued as vibrotypes, though most officers prefer the field sword.

When the Army does attack, it tries very hard to get the Sternmarine to secure a LZ fit for the Panzer Corps. Skeelzanian armor is split between the Main Battle tanks and the Heavy siege tanks. The latter, as the name implies, are designed for urban warfare and are essentially mobile fortifications. There are also Assault Guns, which deliver light artillery caliber weapons on a MBT chasis. I say light for reasons that will soon become clear. All Skeelzanian vehicles are high on survivability.

The focus of the Panzer Corps is heavy infantry support in an urban environment. Since its very likely that John Q. Insurgent is sneaking around with a rocket launcher, Panzers are in turn supported by the Panzergrenadiers. These are considered to be elite, and receive equipment of slightly better caliber than the regular infantry. General load out is the same, however.

I'm afraid the Skeelzanian Army sounds like a backwards, outdated mess right now. And it probably is. There are two reasons why it hasn't been rolled over by someone. The first is that the Sternmarine has done a sterling job of taking war to the enemy and protecting the ground forces from full-scale annihilation. The second is the Artillery.

The standard Skeelzanian artillery piece is a 350mm howitzer, and the Army has a lot of them. If word comes in of an enemy troop concentration, massing for an attack, the artillery simply levels the area. On at least one occasion, the Army broke an urban uprising by systematically leveling the city block by block. They then dropped napalm on the rubble.

Also in the Skeelzanian arsenal is a curious weapon left over from my mobile-suit days. It is a 680mm mobile cannon on nuclear-powered hover thrusters. With a fifty mile range, the Anzinos have no problems with launching atomic shells over the horizon. They can also act as a direct fire weapon, if you wish to build a football stadium inside of a crater.

Thats pretty much the gist of the Army. I'll get into the FS some other day.

[Central Facehuggeria]

What about the Radguns and the Falloutesque power armor, Skeelz?

[Skeelzania]

What about the Radguns and the Falloutesque power armor, Skeelz?

That IS the FS. They're mostly noblemen or their retainers, and they aren't going to go into combat without serious protection and firepower.

[Kanuckistan]

A wooden club and animal hides?

SIGN ME THE HELL UP, PRIMAL RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE.

R.I.P. Zerstorendar, who was torn apart while wacking a tank's treads with a fallen tree branch, when the driver failed to notice him. The funeral to be held next weekend will be closed casket.

And functional technology and fancy technology is the difference between chopping someone into little pieces and surgically removing their eyeballs.

Well then, just because it looks fancy, doesn't mean it isn't primarily functional.

The plasma hammer, for example, was developed to provide militia members with cheap, heavy firepower. It's a SNES or SAPL tube impregnated with an EM-reactive mesh, and loaded with a bifocal fission, fusion, or conversion bomb designed to give off alot of EMP, which is caught by the EMR mesh and forms a brief containment field to shape and direct the blast.

Quite elegant, I think.

[Zerstorendar]

Well I admit there are a number of approaches to warfare, and that is one of them. I recall Xenonier saying my military will never reach its full potential because I refuse to elevate it to an art form. I then mentioned that his military will never be as manly as mine and he conceded.

R.I.P. Zerstorendar, who was torn apart while wacking a tank's treads with a fallen tree branch, when the driver failed to notice him. The funeral to be held next weekend will be closed casket.

He was posthumously awarded the Huge Medal of Awesome with Oak Leaves and Chest Hair.

[Kanuckistan]

He was posthumously awarded the Huge Medal of Awesome with Oak Leaves and Chest Hair.

Don't forget the Darwin Award.

[Trailers]

None of which ever made it to his address, as his entire nation was steamrolled by a more elegant military. :X