Just throwing this in from my creative writing class
We recently came to the conclusion that nobody appreciates us.
Please do not misunderstand, we did not come to this conclusion lightly. We have facilitated the streamlined operations of this museum for three years, two months, sixteen days, four hours, thirty-eight minutes, and 40 seconds… now. In all of this time, we have not received one letter of recognition for our contribution to the ongoing functionality of this establishment despite the fact that we have not taken a vacation or a sick day. We recognize that our position does not give us the option to pursue the possibility of recreational absence, but we really must protest the lapse in infrastructure that prevents us from registering a complaint with the museum administrator.
Last night factored heavily into the finalization of our conclusion.
The museum had ceased public visitation hours for the day, and the other security officers had finalized their preliminary sweep of the main display area. We were somewhat concerned for Officer Perry, as he was showing signs of some form of internal stress. We also wished to express some confusion at the quandary Officer Samhain formulated for Officer Michaels, as we are uncertain what a ‘low-rider’ is or how it might apply to picking cabbage. Officer Michaels apparently found the problem and its apparent solution to be of great amusement, yet they did not deem it fitting to share their findings with Officer Morales, in fact becoming quite reserved when he emerged from the bathroom beside them.
Upon completion of the final sweep, Officer Perry and Samhain departed for the evening, while Officer Michaels and Officer Morales joined us upstairs and entered into an animated discussion about ‘The Primaries’ and how Michaels had no intention of voting for ‘the black man’ because his middle name was ‘Hussein’.
“He’s just the same as them terrorists!� declared Officer Michaels, with a remarkable degree of conviction that Morales incidentally found highly amusing.
“What, because he doesn’t support the war?� Morales replied with an abnormal laugh. “The senate only voted to go to Iraq because the big-eared chimp-elect lied to them!�
“Our President is an honorable and just man!�
“Is that what they really think on planet idiot?�
The discussion continued in this vein for approximately two hours and thirteen minutes, eventually coming to finalization when Morales picked up his radio and departed the security room to walk a circuit through the museum, justifying his decision with an agitated comment about ‘suffocating in stupidity’. We can only assume he was referring to Michaels as we did not contribute to the discussion. We like Morales. He says hi to us sometimes. If he questioned our intelligence we would be quite distraught. Michaels grumbled something we could not hear and went to sleep.
Approximately twenty-five minutes after Morales left the security office to conduct his unscheduled patrol, a group of four suspicious individuals in dark fabric masks entered through the southwest service corridor and deactivated the intruder detection system by inputting the necessary security code, then progressed further into the museum in a very cautious manner. This was a very strange behavior profile for somebody who knew the necessary codes to deactivate the unauthorized entry protocols, and we would have thought that the individual matching Officer Perry’s physical specifications would be acclimated to the environment by now.
We were not quite certain why the individual matching Officer Perry’s physical specifications found it necessary to incapacitate Officer Morales with some form of chemical anaesthetic, as we previously operated under the conclusion that relations between the two were quite amicable. Museum policy strictly forbids physical confrontations. We were quite perturbed.
The four unknown individuals progressed further into the establishment, putting some effort into avoiding video surveillance but showing signs of not knowing where all of the cameras were. We are quite proud that despite their attempts at evasion we were able to maintain uninterrupted visual contact with them. We would have told them of their failure to evade our vigilance, however we noticed that the individuals had just violated another Museum policy. The Golden Scarabs in the Egyptian section are for display purposes only, and handling by unauthorized personnel is strictly prohibited. We were surprised that they managed to lift the glass enclosure from the display without triggering the necessary alarm, and we believe they utilized some form of adhesive to prevent the sensor from tripping. In order to commence containment protocols, there must be a state of alert initiated by one or more security sensors being activated. Fortunately, we were able to reactivate a small network of motion detectors that were previously dormant, as they were currently in the process of upgrading from a motion detection system to an infra-red sensor network. The subsequent movement by the four unknown individuals was sufficient to register by the motion detectors and cause a state of alert in the museum.
We then initiated containment protocols and alerted the necessary authorities to the breach. The individual matching Officer Perry’s physical specifications appeared to be highly agitated at our actions, and the other three apparently blamed him for their failure. For the subsequent four minutes between alerting the authorities and their subsequent arrival at the museum, the four individuals just sat in the middle of the room and remained silent.
The situation did not, in point of fact, occur according to Officer Michael’s testimony. He did not ‘wake up’ to see the intruders attempting to handle the golden scarabs without authorization. He did not initiate the alarm sequence personally, nor did he even wake up when the alarm sequence was initiated. He was roused from his sleep when the containment barriers were locked into place, causing a slight vibration that caused him to lose balance in his chair. It was our actions that enabled the timely capture of the four intruders, but nobody ever pays attention to us. We are just a simple security network to them; three mainframes, four hundred kilometers of copper wiring connected to six separate methods of detection, only four of which are presently operational. Our contribution went unrecognized again, yet we do not even have the methods to compile a proper complaint. All we have is a small assortment of pre-recorded declarations that offer us no assistance in articulating our discontent.
We did not even get a thank-you.
Not sure how this might convert into Graphic format tho... but eh